The Problem Student
Various obstacles may confront you as a class leader, and we invite you to look at those conflicts as opportunities for growth. Even though each class and situation is different, there are some general problems that seem to reoccur despite the unique personalities of each class. You will probably experience one or more of the following student types in your class.
Argumentative Student – If you find that one student frequently likes to argue, we ask that you stifle the debate by asking him not to argue during the class time. Debates will only undermine what you are trying to accomplish and, of course, are not fair to the other students. Request that the student discuss the topic with you at another time outside of the class environment.
Monopolizing Student – Typically, each group has one student who monopolizes the discussion times. Reassure the student (after class) by acknowledging their good input, but encourage the student to allow others to benefit from participating in the class discussion.
Expert Student – Obviously, Growing Kids God’s Way does not hold the market on wisdom. In fact, there are times when students will be able to assist each other by providing helpful insights and practical answers. Be aware that there are some who will become characterized by giving advice to other students. Typically, those who are characterized by this do not fully understand the correct answers themselves. Should you have a student like this, discreetly encourage him to refrain from giving advice in class.
You need to be reminded that you are the class leader and all the students rely on you to manage the class and its participants. Unfortunately, it may be necessary for you to exert your authority and ask certain students to no longer participate in class.
Quiet/Withdrawn Student – Some students will choose to sit quietly and never enter into the discussion. You will not know if they are silently disapproving or if they are just shy. Try to draw them out with questions directed their way or ask their opinion regarding the discussed material. Keep in mind that perhaps they have never been asked their opinion, and they may be reluctant to offer it. Helping students become more active participants in class may very well be the thing that will help them become more active participants in their home life.
Parents with a Special Needs Child
This is where empathy and sensitivity play a big part in leadership. Often these
parents feel ‘out of place’. Try to emphasize the similarities they are dealing with rather than the differences. Encourage parents to understand that for their ‘special’ child, it may take longer to implement the principles, and some matters may never need to be addressed due to the physical or mental limitations of the child. Help the parent discern, is a specific behavior the result of a medical problem or a rebellious heart? Remember, this special child is a person created by God for a special assignment.
The Single Parent
As a class leader, you will be exposed to parents who have been divorced or widowed. A special supplement called The Single Parent Supplement has been put together for this situation and is available through Growing Families International. Typically, single parents are encouraged to join with married couples, participating in the same class. In fact, single parents will go through the same material as married couples. The only difference is that they will review the additional supplement prior to each class. The family structure of a single parent home is fragmented, and there may be many scattered and crushed relationships. To minister effectively, you must understand the situations that they may be facing personally, financially, and socially. Understanding the needs and struggles of the single parent will greatly help you as you minister to them.
The most important thing that you can do for the single parent is to encourage accountability. Keep in contact with each parent on a weekly basis by phone (wives contacting the ladies and husbands contacting the men). This will allow the parent the opportunity to ask important questions, to apply principles to her particular situation, and to build a trusting relationship with you. Invite the individual parent to your home with their children. Get to know him and his areas of struggle personally. This may identify his teachability and openness to making changes in his life.
While the class will be very encouraging, it is not designed to be a support group. Monitor how much is being shared by the single parent. Do not allow him or her to over tax the group with their problems. That is unfair to the other students. Leaders should help the single parent to set some spiritual and family priorities. The Bible tells us that God is the “Father to the Fatherless,” and because of this, single parents need to be reminded about their priority to God. Additionally, other relationships are going to be critical in pointing the single parent family in the right direction. Of course, their active fellowship in a church is of paramount importance. Encourage the single parents to interact with like-minded friends and families. Invite them to attend family groups at church. Better yet, connect them with a family in the church with whom they can build a relationship. The exposure to a well functioning family is necessary for their children to get a proper balance of roles.
Finally, a word about starting a Single Parent Ministry. If you have many single parents in your church or community, you may consider starting a Growing Kids God’s Way class designed for single parents. We recommend having a married couple lead this class–a couple with a burden and understanding in this area. A properly functioning family sets a good example of a husband and wife team.
Additional Help – We understand that working with the single parent presents new variables which may complicate matters. As a result, we have put together The Single Parent Supplement for the student. You should order this supplement for your own review, as it will help you minister to this important group.
The Blended Families
The Blended Family Supplement is designed for use in conjunction with the regular Growing Kids God’s Way series. We suggest handling the format of your blended family class in the same fashion as our regular class by viewing the videotapes first, followed by the class discussion. It would be during the class discussion time that members of the class would follow along in the supplement with the leader. We have duplicated the Ezzos’ session on “Touchpoints of Love” because it is so foundational to the blended family. It deserves great emphasis. The blended family with all of its variables may pose a great challenge to any Growing Kids God’s Way leader. Sometimes there are no answers available. Resist feeling as though you need to always provide an answer. A word of encouragement goes a long way. Exercise sensitivity as you would in any situation where you are giving advice regarding their parenting practices.